Desperation The Animus

Diving into Desperation

Some of you might be wondering, why should I bother reading this random book by this random author? It’s the famous WIIFM (What’s in it for me?).

Well, let me give you a taste. I promise it’s good.

I’d imagined this moment a thousand times. I’d run, he’d knock me down and break my spine so I couldn’t get away. If I fought, he’d break my arms and fingers, one by one. If I stood my ground, he’d break me like he’d broken my father. If I surrendered, he’d use me like a puppet, forcing me to submit to him and taking everything from me, including my life. I’d imagined every scenario and every outcome was my death. I was going to die. Right here. Right now. There was no alternative.

One of my favorite paragraphs to write was right there. Imagining your own death isn’t something slow. It’s violent, and the panic seizing you is more vicious than a honey badger. When you’ve had years to engrain the terror into your marrow, it’s worse. It festers inside you, and no matter what you try, you can never completely remove the rot.

Desperation isn’t just about Charlotte’s bid to save her sister and herself. It’s about the situation of every character in the book. Everyone has something they desperately want.

Aurek is desperate to find his betrothed.

Allison is desperate to know why she is so different from everyone around her.

Elaine is desperate to escape the pain of her injuries, both physical and emotional.

Gregor is desperate for an escape from the reality that is his father.

Vera is desperate for a little entertainment, perferrably in the form of someone else’s misery.

And for me, it’s that last piece of brownie I’ve been eyeing all night. Damn you chocolatey goodness…

But Desperation isn’t all about the dark moments in someone’s life. It’s about pulling someone from the darkness and anchoring them, settling the turbulence of their despair and giving them hope.

“I am not judging, Charlotte. I am saying, I understand. I have been where you are, and I am here to be whatever you need me to be.”

I almost snapped at Hunter, but instead, a heavy breath dragged through me.

I almost accused him of not being able to understand because he wasn’t a fool like me.

I almost swore at him, called him untrue names, and made vague threats to make him leave me.

I almost lashed out, my fingers itching to curl into a fist and knock him back into the wall.

Almost. Almost. Almost.

Instead of all the things I almost did, I took in deep breaths and did the one thing I had never done before. I looked into Hunter’s calm, steady, eyes and didn’t look away, facing a fear I hadn’t realized I had until that moment. The fear of being judged and found inadequate.

If you’ve found this someone in your life, that someone who is your anchor, you know what this moment is like. If you haven’t found them yet, I hope you do. To allow someone in enough to trust them with the real you — it’s something special.

This is what Desperation, what The Animus series, is about. Finding that someone who is your anchor, that perfect balance to the shit storm your inner thoughts can become, and the one you maybe think you aren’t good enough for.

Purchase Desperation today from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or from your local book store. Though it’s currently available in paperback, the eBook is coming!


(Paper back only!!! Gotta love that Amazon engine playing games)


Desperation: Now Available!

Desperation is now readily available on all platforms! Or, at least some of the biggest ones. Enjoy free delivery through Amazon or Barnes & Noble? Want to support local book stores? You can have it all and eat it too (if you’re into that sort of thing).

Amazon: Desperation (Paperback only! Gotta love Amazon engine goofs)

Barnes & Noble: Desperation

Support a Local Book Shop:


Writing Roots

For every good story, there’s an amazing beginning.

Writing a book isn’t something that happens overnight. It takes time, dedication and creativity. Getting started is a hurdle all on its own. Getting past the first chapter is a battle of wills. And outlining? Don’t even get me started on outlining. Even mostly done with the second novel in the series, I have yet to even feign mastery.

While high school is technically how far back my writing roots go, I’d like to focus on the more recent efforts that got me to where I could write my novels.

Growing up, I was what you might call a nerd. I spent my days watching anime, spending money on manga, and gossiping with my best friend about what happened in the latest episodes. My fascination wasn’t with how crazy or cute something was, it was how someone could translate the crazy in their head into something so fantastic. Take my favorite anime of all time, Bleach. This show’s entire focus is on an entire world with which normal humans don’t have the ability to interact. I loved to dream about the what if. What if it were real? If it was real, what else could be real?

Take a big ol’ leap in time forward to 2016. I was a full-time student, and an INFP (Myers Briggs). For my fellow Percievers out there, you know what it’s like to procrastinate. I love to procrastinate. It’s like, my favorite thing of all time and I’m exceptional at it. So, what do I do when I’m putting off studying or doing homework? I went back and read the book I wrote in high school.


That’s the best word to describe that book. I wrote it for my Senior Project. Arts and crafts and writing that book were the only things in my life that I hadn’t procrastinated about. I worked day and night on that thing, and it was awful. If I put an excerpt from it in here, you’d never bother reading my novels now. It was that bad.

Having been years between the me that wrote that book and the me reading that book, I got a crazy idea.

What if I rewrote it?

It seemed like a great idea, but I was a bit of a realist. If I took that book and rewrote it, would it be any better? Probably not. How could it be better? What did I need to do to make this book awesome?

I needed practice.

And this is where everything comes full circle.

Have you heard of fanfiction? No? Well, you’re in for a treat. Ever watched a movie and went, what if this happened instead? That’s the root of all fanfiction. They’re stories written by fans, set in the world of the thing they’re fans of. For some people, it’s Harry Potter and writing a steamy romance with Malfoy and an original character they’ve inserted into the world. For others, it’s adding an extra dwarf to the Lord of the Rings and wreaking havoc. For me, it was adding my own characters into the world of Bleach.

For me, this was great practice. It allowed me to play with a world, to figure out how the heck English grammar works again, how to develop characters and how to make something that had plot (its way harder than it seems).

This was also the encouragement I needed to tackle writing an entire book. Part of it was the reviews and getting constant feedback on my work. The other, more impactful part was completing three entire stories without ever seeing them on paper. When I finished the first, I was giddy and had learned so much it was almost overwhelming. When the second came to a close, it was more than a sense of accomplishment. And the third? I knew I was ready for my book.

If you’re interested in peeking in at these earlier (very lightly edited) works, they’re posted on


Pre-Order: Desperation

Four years. You wouldn’t think it takes that long to write, edit, edit, edit, and publish a book. Where some journeys to book shelves take six months, mine took four years, or fifteen if you count the very first version I wrote years ago. This book is my proof that if you keep at something, you can make it happen.

One day…


Once upon a time.

And that’s exactly what this book is. It’s my fairy tale, though it’s far darker than anything you’d find in a Disney movie, but also more real.

Do you love the dynamic between Cinderella and Prince Charming, the drama of Belle and Beast and the sex appeal of Damon and Elena?

Do you fantasize about the Fae, dream of Demigods and Demons, and wish there were more than Humans in this world?

I’ve got you covered, assuming you answered yes to any of those. Which, really, you should have.

Charlotte grew up being in love with the man she was promised to marry. Aurek was a warrior, a Daeva Prince to equal her Daeva Princess, and meant to protect their people when they took the throne. Where she was spoiled and young, he was patient and understanding. When she had outbursts, he was there to sooth her naive woes. It was a perfect match, just like her parents intended.

Until he murdered them.

Hiding was something she never thought she would achieve. It was only a matter of time. But hours became days, and days became years. The thought of being found slipped away, becoming nothing but nightmares and memories. Her and her sister made a life in a world filled with technology, hiding amongst Humankind despite being nothing so simple. They were safe, and it was all that mattered.

Until he found them.